Pros and Cons of Men's Work

(This is an excerpt from the upcoming book - 2025)

Who Can and Can’t Benefit?

Pros and Cons of Men’s Work

Men’s work isn’t for everyone. Like any culture, movement, or practice, it has its pros and cons. When I first encountered it, I wasn’t sure it was for me. I’ve never resonated with hypermasculinity—masculinity without nuance, without heart. But I’ve come to realize that men’s work, at its best, is about depth, accountability, and truth.

The men who thrive in these spaces are the ones willing to leave their egos at the door. They’re not there to prove something; they’re there to experience something real.

Men Who Do Well in Men’s Groups

• Men seeking transformation—who are ready to challenge themselves and step into personal growth.

• Men who want to work on themselves in a group context, learning through shared experiences.

• Men who have read about self-development and want to live it rather than just theorize about it.

• Men curious about inner work and the deeper layers of their psyche.

• Men who want to become leaders in their communities or refine their leadership skills.

• Men who are seeking authenticity—not just in themselves, but in their relationships and their place in the world.

• Men who want to face the truth about themselves and the world around them.

Men Who Struggle in Men’s Groups

• Men who project, dismiss, or criticize others instead of taking ownership of their emotions.

• Men unwilling to take accountability for their words and actions.

• Men who can’t commit to showing up consistently—physically or emotionally.

• Men who believe they don’t belong—and refuse to challenge that belief.

• Men who believe they are better than others—and use the group to reinforce their superiority.

• Men who believe they are lesser than others—and refuse to see their own worth.

There’s a saying in men’s work: You can’t have an ego that’s too high or too low if you want to thrive here. This applies to any deep, communal practice. The men who benefit most are those willing to approach it with humility, but also with the confidence to engage fully.

The Mirror Effect

Like any relationship, men’s groups are a dynamic exchange. What you put in—authenticity, curiosity, respect, truth—is what gets reflected back at you. But if you bring judgment, resistance, or unchecked projections, those same qualities will come right back, often amplified.

There’s a phrase in spiritual and psychological circles: The world is your mirror. It doesn’t mean that if you see a murderer, you’re also a murderer. But it does mean that if you refuse to acknowledge your own rage or destructive impulses, you risk suppressing or bypassing a very human part of yourself.

In men’s work, the group becomes a hypercharged mirror of your inner world. The men around you reflect back your strengths, your wounds, and your blind spots. That’s what makes it powerful. And that’s what makes it uncomfortable. But if you can sit with that discomfort, if you can lean into it rather than run from it—you’ll find something real on the other side.

The Future of Men’s Work

Men’s groups, women’s groups—these spaces will only become more valuable in the future. As AI makes knowledge more accessible than ever, the rarest commodities won’t be information or skills. They’ll be authenticity, truth, emotional intelligence, and the ability to form real relationships.

And those, I believe, will be worth more than gold.